I’m Not Writing a Letter to my Future Husband
I’m going to start this off by admitting that I am very guilty. I’ve read quite a few ‘letter to my future man’ articles over the years. Heck, I’ve even pinned a few to my pinterest board to re-read… and re-read again. I might’ve even shed a tear over the words that were so carefully chosen by the many people who have written the aforementioned letters. However, I’m not writing a letter to my future fellow.
Not doing it.
I’ve thought about this quite a bit because I find writing to be very therapeutic. Perhaps writing to my future something will help alleviate the current nothing?
Not doing it.
I don’t have any clue what he will look like and I don’t even care. There is a very real chance I might always think that David Beckham has better abs and Ryan Gosling smiles with more beautiful eyes. I could jot down a dream of baking him fresh-baked cookies because cooking for people is one way in which I show love. But then it might turn out that he jumped on the gluten-free bandwagon, and the gluten-containing flour would make him terribly sad. I could write about the two of us frolicking through wooded forest paths and spotting white-tail deer in our free time, but maybe we will be city-folk and the neon-lit sidewalks of a downtown will romance us. I could spin the story a million ways, but the truth is, I don’t know him yet. He doesn’t know me. I don’t know his laugh, his quirks, or his passions. I don’t even know if I will love or hate his laugh, his quirks, or his passions. Conjuring up our tale before we’ve held hands feels really premature.
And then there is the very real possibility that my carefully crafted letter will become somewhat of a hate read… because truthfully, a little part of me is already mad at this guy. The number of weddings, showers, parties, work dinners, and trips that I’ve attended without this man is painfully long. The number of times I’ve found myself explaining and defending my singlehood is insane. The amount of times I’ve wanted to talk to him, laugh with him, and be with him is alarming. As often as I dream of the day of meeting my one-true-love, I sometimes get angry at him too. Because, seriously… did it need to take this long?
And lastly, there is the part of me that refuses to write that letter because I’ve basically written it in my head a thousand times. My singleness gets the best of me every so often. I’ve conjured up a completely untrue romantic tale at a stoplight after spotting a semi attractive shirtless male running past me. I can envision our wedding, our first fixer-upper of a house, our first dog, and our first child all before the poor gentleman is out of sight. Creepy? Yes. But, I’m not alone in this habit.
My painstakingly crafted independent image is quite fragile in reality, and I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t thought of all the things I wanted to say to my future somebody over and over and over and over. I’d be lying if I didn’t think of all the things I want to say a lot. A lot a lot. But I want to say them and not write them down. I want to mean what I say because I’m experiencing it… and I want it to be authentic, tangible and 100% real in that moment, not just some imagery that my crazy brain pawned off a Nicholas Sparks movie.
I’m truly happy with my life. I’ll never be totally content with it, but that has nothing to do with the presence or absence of a significant other. That’s just me. I’m happy today and I was happy yesterday. I’ll most certainly be happy tomorrow.
And if the day where the two of us finally meet never comes, I will make peace with that and I’ll be okay.
And if we do decide to cross paths sometime, I’ll tell him all the things that I never wrote to him in a letter.
And maybe, just maybe, I’ll bake him some cookies too … gluten-free if needed.
P.S. I'm back.
3tsp sesame oil
3tsp rice vinegar, divided
2tsp miso paste
1 clove garlic, minced
16oz Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved
2tsp sesame seeds, toasted
Preheat oven to 450.
Whisk 2tsp sesame oil, 2tsp rice vinegar, miso paste, garlic, and sriracha together.
Add brussels sprouts and toss to coat.
Place sprouts on a baking sheet. Roast for 15-20 minutes, stirring a few times to ensure even cooking.
Remove from oven. Toss with remaining 1tsp sesame oil, 1 tsp rice vinegar, and sesame seeds.