I’m titling this post ‘knight’ shift problems and not ‘night’ shift problems on purpose. The night shift is hard. So hard. This is why I refer to it as the ‘knight’ shift because you need a shield and a sword to slay the proverbial dragon that is known as circadian rhythm.#knightshiftproblems
I’m not really a
night knight shift worker, but I do work some night-esque shifts (aka finishing time around 2, 3, or 4 o’clock in the morning) so I kinda/sorta get it . First and foremost, I need to run home and hug my mom (and all the other moms and dads) who work (or have ever worked) night shifts on a regular basis in order to be home with the kids during the day. I can’t even imagine.
I now present to you my unofficial list of #knightshift problems:
1. Whether my eyes are open or closed, I am basically sleeping at 3am. I might even be nodding and responding to your questions. I am actually not awake. Eyes-open sleeping is a real thing. #knightshiftproblems
2. Speaking of eyes, are mine the only ones that look so embarrassingly blood shot in the wee hours of the morning? It’s not attractive and no amount of Visine has remedied the situation. #knightshiftproblems
3. Eating healthy goes out the window (and down the street and possibly to the bottom of the local river) during my fatigue-driven PM shifts. Chips. Chips. Chocolate. Chips. #knightshiftproblems
4. Driving home as the sun is rising and the radio people being all like ‘hey everybody! its gonna be a good day and you are just getting started.’ And i’m thinking, ‘noooooo, i’m going home to my bed to pass out for as long as possible.’ On the flip side, the commute to work when the sun is setting and the radio people are stating, ‘good job guys! now go home, grab a drink, and relax – you survived.’ I’m yelling, ‘noooooo! i’m just getting started.’ #knightshiftproblems
5. Arriving home and not really remembering the drive. Did I stop at the stop signs? Did I get on the freeway? Was I speeding? How bad was that traffic? Not good. #knightshiftproblems
6. Trying to fall asleep during the early hours of the morning is quite the challenge. Everybody decides to mow their lawn on this particular day. One doesn’t realize how loud a lawnmower truly can be until you are trying to ignore its obscenely noisy growls. The birds have all migrated back … back to the window outside my bedroom… all of them. I mean ALL of them. Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. Perhaps a bird aviary now exists just outside, but I’m too tired to investigate. Chirp. Tweet. Chirp. Every child within a 30 mile radius is outside and has somehow acquired a megaphone and better lungs effectively turning into ultra-noisemaking machines. 44 of the houses in the neighborhood are having new roofs put on today. Did you guys get a deal or something? Why today? Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. It’s garbage day. Every single time, it is garbage day. Although technically speaking the garbage people only come once per week, it always occurs for 16 hours on the morning I’m trying to sleep. Statistically this is impossible, but really it is a fact. Every dog on the block decides to test out his or her bark loudness and duration.Woof. Woof. Woof. I didn’t even know we had this many dogs living in my community? Bark. Roof. Bark. Woof. I’m assuming this is merely a response to the kids with the megaphones or the birds or the garbage trucks, but really it’s hard to know for sure. #knightshiftproblems
7. Body doesn’t want to sleep at night anymore … or during the day either. In fact, you are not even sure if it is day, night, weekend, or holiday. #knightshiftproblems
In conclusion, I have the utmost respect for people who work when the rest of the world is sleeping for years and years. You are truly amazing.
For those who are reading this food blog for the actual food (go figure!), I present you a dip recipe. It’s a chickpea-less hummus that is creamy, garlicky, and delicious. I ate this with chips, crackers, and veggies. I threw it atop a salad. I even spread it on my sandwich. There are an infinite number of possibilities for this one. Maybe, don’t put it on your ice cream though.
2 cans white beans (i.e. Great Northern), rinsed and drained
1 (14oz) jar marinated artichoke hearts, rinsed and drained
3-4 cloves garlic*
pinch of salt
1-2T olive oil (or reserved liquid from beans)
juice of 1 lemon
Toss the above into a food processor. Blend until smooth. Taste and adjust seasonings. Serve with pita chips, crackers, veggies, and whatever else you can imagine.
*original recipe calls for 4 cloves of garlic, but my dip was a little too garlicky and I looooove garlic. Next time, I’d start with 2. Taste and add more if needed.