As a wannabe linguist (that’s a lie), I recently came across a glorious word: kummerspeck. Have you heard of this one before? It’s German and it refers to the weight caused by emotional overeating. I needed a word for this.
Transition to next point: One thing that could certainly cause kummerspeck (at least for me) is snake massages.
Have you heard of snake massages? Yup. It’s true. People pay money to have humongous snakes slither on top of them. What?!?!?!?!? Let me say that again for emphasis. This time I’m typing louder. WHHHAATT?!?!?!?!?
Don’t worry though, the snakes’ mouths are taped shut and they have been cleansed with antiseptic. In essence, there is a low chance of salmonella and venomous bites… not sure how they prevent strangling or overwhelming fear leading to heart stoppage (that’s a technical medical term). Once upon a time in elementary school, my brothers best friend threw a garden snake at me, and I am still scarred. You don’t forget those types of life altering events. I’ve inadvertently ventured into the reptile house at the zoo on more than one occasion and immediately regretted it. The mere thought of a snake sends shivers up my spine. If I were to create a list of things that horrify me, snakes, bugs with 100+ legs (re: centipedes and millipedes), and getting a ‘B’ in high school would be on that list. You can eye roll that last one. Yeah, I was/is/am that kinda girl.
Long story short: I don’t do snakes.
Short story long: I would never ever never never ever never never never even consider (not even for a minute) partaking in snake massages. Never. Ever Never.
In conclusion, we should make cookies and avoid snakes. I present snake-less cookies. Kummerspeck.
1 1/4C flour
1/3C unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2tsp cornstarch
3/4tsp baking soda
1/2C butter, room temp
1/2C light brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1C M&Ms (mini if able to find)
Preheat oven to 350. Prep a cookie sheet by lining it with silpat or parchment.
In a bowl, combine flour, cocoa, cornstarch, baking soda, and salt. Whisk together.
In a different bowl, beat butter and sugar (brown and white) until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla.
Slowly add in dry ingredients, a little at a time, until they are well incorporated. Add in M&Ms.
Drop heaping tablespoons (or use cookie scoop) onto baking sheets.
Bake at 350 for 8-9 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool for 3 minutes until transferring to rack. Repeat with remaining dough.
Enjoy! Store cooled leftovers in airtight container.